Being John Malkovich

(1999)

as Craig Schwartz

Taglines: Ever wanted to be someone else? Now you can.

Be All That Someone Else Can Be

Plot: A puppeteer (John Cusack) discovers a door in his office that allows him to enter the mind and life of John Malkovich (John Malkovich, who did you expect?) for 15 minutes. The puppeteer then tries to turn the portal into a small business.

Noteworthy Actress: Cameron Diaz

Other Noteworthy Actors: Charlie Sheen and John Malkovich

Non-John Quotes: "Don't stand in the way of my actualization as a man."--Lotte

"Truth is for suckers, Johnny Boy."--Charlie

"Maybe she's using you to channel some dead lesbian lover."--Charlie

"She has her doctorate in speech impedimentology from Case Western."--Dr Lester

[John] You see, Maxine, it isn't just playing with dolls.
[Maxine] You're right, my darling, it's so much more. It's playing with people!

"Meet you in Malkovich in one hour."--Maxine

John Quotes: "Nobody's looking for a puppeteer in today's wintry economic climate."

"Do you know what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is?"

[Craig] My name is Craig Schwartz and I have an interview with Dr. Lester.
[Floris] Please have a seat, Mr. Juarez.
[Craig] My name is Schwartz.
[Floris] "My name is Wartz"?

"You see the world through John Malkovich's eyes. Then after about 15 minutes, you're spit out into a ditch on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike!"

[Craig] With all due respect, John, It's MY portal.
[John] It's MY HEAD, Schwartz. It's MY head!

[Craig] Can I buy you a drink, Maxine?
[Maxine] Are you married?
[Craig] Yes, but enough about me.

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